The Cool Names of the NHL

One of the coolest things about the NHL is the variety of names which you get to see. I know what you're saying, clever reader - "But NHLEF, the NHL is full of white guys from small towns across Canada! How are Anglo-Saxon families exciting??"
It is this obscurity which seems to breed creativity. (Craig Adams for the Pittsburgh Penguins - bad naming example, but born in Seria, Brunei Darussalem) The NHL has a collection of ridiculous things which people thought were great to name their children. Many storied examples exist from Darious Kaspiritus, to Hakon Loob and Mats Sundin. Here at the NHLEF we have compiled a list of some of the best names in the NHL, and why they are the best. Of course, we are bound to have missed a few, so chip in when needed.


Dustin Byfuglien - How the heck to you pronounce this guys name? Bff-ewww-gly-en? Buff-lin? Buf-ugly-in? I would like to say it doesn't matter, but he's good enough at hockey that you occasionally have to talk about him.

Matthew Smaby - This guy's jersey just screams lame jokes. The number of announcers I've heard saying "Smaby goes into the corner, do you think he's going to get the puck? Smaby! Huhuhuhuhuhuhuh. Pierre McGuire is a chief culprit here.

Paul Szczechura - Same team as Smaby, same problem as Dustin. No idea how to pronounce this one. It sounds like a spicy Asian noodle sauce, not the name of a pro hockey player. Other guys would love to chirp him, but seeing as most hockey players can't even spell his last name, he's doing well.

Alexander Semin - Do I really need to explain it? This is a family website so I won't, but you know what I'm getting at. He knows how to use is hockey stick is all I'm saying.

Byron Bitz - Easily the coolest name in hockey right now. Sets him up for so many wicked nicknames - Bitz and Bites, Kibbles and Bitz, NHL Bitz 2009 etc. While he is a 4th line grinder-type, that doesn't mean we can't recognize him as having a name that every kid in midget hockey wants, if not his skills.

Daniel Tjarnqvist - While on the surface it seems benign, this one is all in the pronunciation. With the right Swedish ring, it comes out sounding 'Sharkfist' which is by far the most bad ass thing to have written on your jersey. EVER.

Marc-Edouard Vlasic - Pickles himself - Get it? Like the pickles you can buy? Pickles? So cool.

Those were the real winners off the NHL roster, based on name only. I obviously could have gone after Brian Lee, because his name represents the worst excuse for an offensive defenseman in the league. Or Alex Kovalev because his name represents a life-time effort of lack of back-checking, circling around the offensive blueline while on the penalty kill and overall douche-baggerey, but that would be digressing.
This is the NHLEF list, and we're sticking to it. NHLEF OUT.