February, 1993
Super_Alex: The Sens are losing games on purpose in order to draft me! God I’m so hot right now.
May, 1993
Super_awesomealex: The Nordiques just offered the Sens Peter Forsberg, Owen Nolan and Quebec remaining a part of Canada for the right to draft me! The boys running the country declined! They’re so smart and I’m effing unreal!
July, 1993
Unreal_Alex: Just got home from the draft, went to Ott, obv. Take that Pronger and Kariya, you guys suck, I don’t even try and I’m way better. Go Sens go, thanks for the 5-year $12.25 contract. (thats million, not my hourly salary)
January, 1994
RichAss_Alex: I’m so famous, and I don’t even have to try. They put me on posters of everything here, even though Yashin is way better than me in every bit of the game. Screw hockey, I loooooooooveeee accccccccciiiidddd.*0-9rguj803n
Alex on acid. This is a picture provided by one of his close friends.
July, 1995
Daigle_Masta: Yashin holds out ‘cause he isn’t gettin’ paid as much. What a meatball, I’m the big cheese and I’m on the 4th line. Sucka!
Alex and Alexei, two superstars in the making
August, 1997
Logo_Daig: I’m on the Sens 3rd Jersey! No big deal or nuthin’, picking up the ladiezzz at da barzzz is a joke, kind of like me playing hockey.
January, 1998
Dead_Alex: Hmm, 74 goals in 4.5 seasons? Pretty much the next Wayne G right here, Philly knows it, and Ott just gave up on me. For Vaclav Prospal, what a gongshow, but I’m still getting dumptruck loads of money. Texted Pam last night, shes down for a good time.
April, 1998
Waived_Alex: Flyers, screw them! Oil? Who cares about that freezing dead end city! TBay – no one ever knows what hockey is! The Rangers – I’m the best dude on the team! Eff this noise, I’m the next Woody Allen. Or Bruce Willis! Or Marilyn Monroe! Got sloppy with Pam last night – think I managed to hook that fish.
Pam Anderson without Alex Daigle
June, 1998
Actor_Alex: Only played hockey cause i was sick-as at it - ***k you guys!
July 2002
burnout_D: I have no idea where i was the last 4 years - any1 got an idea?? Looking for: NHL team paying money to smack-addicted self-obsessed no-talent garbagomanic to pwn in pre-season and then fall flat on his face. Msg me.
July 2003
Wild_Daigle: The Pens fell for it last year, and the Wild this year. Yeaaaaah aycheques for nothin'!
April 2004
Sniper_Alex: Just led the Mild in points! 51! Tied career high! I don't suck afterall, even though this team does! Ohgodwheresmyacid.,.,oeingjieugb
March 2006
Waived_Alex2: Waived again. FML. But I'm not done yet!!! Europe doesn't know I'm a waste of space!!
As you can see, Alex Daigle led a very healthy, fantastic, yet chaotic life. He is an example to be followed, revered and possibly even worshipped. Now, the NHL-EF has taken a new turn, one with more serious articles - is this one of them?? Only the readers will tell... NHL-EF OUT!
Wait...Ottawa could had Peter Forsberg and Owen Nolan in their prime?!?! I might punch a hole in the wall right at this moment...
ReplyDeleteOttawa Senators (and fans) attract hot females, no matter how bad they are at hockey.
Is Daigle the biggest bust ever in the NHL? Does he even come close to basketball? They've had some legit doozies (Olowakandi, Kwame Brown) AND the players are much older when they're drafted. That's the thing with the NHL and baseball: when you're drafting 17 and 18 year-olds, nothing's a sure thing. Basketball and the NFL have it way easier.
ReplyDeletePatrik Stefan has to be a bigger bust, right? He's never scored more than 26 points. DiPietro should be in the conversation too just because his contract is so outrageous and he's made of waterford crystal... I mean, I sure wish I had a guaranteed 4.5 million/year coming my way for another 12 years.
I forgot about the Pamela Anderson thing, thanks for bringing that back to my attention!