Are You an Ottawa Senators Fan?

This post is fairly simple: You maybe an Ottawa Senators fan if:

- You’ve watched the Ottawa Senators playing in the tiny Civic Centre which is located underneath a football field.
- You remember the 70 losses the team suffered in their inaugural season.
- You thought that picking Alexander Daigle was a phenomenal pick at the time.
- You remember Alexi Yashin donating $1 million to the National Arts Centre and de-donating $1 million from the National Arts Centre.
- You’re Gord Wilson.
- You remember the awesome dual of Damian Rhodes and Ron Tugnutt in goal.

Damian (left) dealing with some sexual harassment and Ron Tugnutt (right) pretending to catch a puck.

- You read the Ottawa Sun on a regular basis and believe what is being printed.
- You listen to the TEAM 1200 on a regular basis and believe what is being broadcasted.
- You remember a time when Patrick Lalime was a legitimate number one goaltender.
- You remember Wade Redden being a decent offensive defenseman.
- You observed Hossa, Chara, Havlat, Redden, Alfredsson, and Spezza all playing on the Sens at the same time.
- You remember how good the Battle of Ontario used to be.
- You know who Laurie Boshman is/was.
- You remember Jani Hurme fighting Felix Potvin.

Jani pummeling Felix "The Cat" Potvin. It also appears Jani broke his neck.

- You remember Patrick Lalime fighting Robert Eshe and Brian Dafoe.
- You remember Bryan Murray almost fighting Lindy Ruff.
- You remember Anton Volchenkov trying to fight Mario Lemieux.
- You remember Peter Bondra in a Sens uniform.

Bondra, in a Sens uniform.

- You’ve hugged Sparta Cat.
- You’ve adapted to all three names of the Sens current arena; The Palladium, The Corel Centre, and Scotiabank Place.
- You know who Rod Bryden is.
- You’ve wanted to beat-up Darcy Tucker.
- You knew Mats Sundin was a useless, bald, goof before he played for the Canucks.
- You know that Radek Bonk was taken 3rd overall in 1994, while Daniel Alfredsson was taken 133rd overall in the same draft.
- You went to Elgin Street during the Senators Cup run in 2006.
- You backed up John Mucklar’s decision to keep Redden and part ways with Chara then quickly regretted it, deeply.
- You thought Ray Emery was the coolest man alive, with his cars, suits, tattoos, and temper.

Ray acting cool, notice the backward cap, multiple necklaces, slight facial hair, scissors gesture, and the famous rapper on his right.

- You are a member of the Sens Army.
- You know what the Sens Mile is/was.
- You remember letting Pavel Demitra go for nothing.
- You remember the one season that Bill Muckult played for the Sens and did not score a single goal.
- You know the real reason to why Mike Comrie was re-acquired, Hillary Duff.

A photograph of Hillary Duff, without Mike Comrie.

- You feel you have a personal connection to Carrie Underwood because she is dating Mike Fisher.

A photograph of Carrie Underwood, without Mike Fisher

- You wet your pants when Jason Spezza undressed Sheldon Souray and scored on Jose Theodore in OT at the Corel Centre. (A true, true fan was actually in the building)
- You were pumped when Dominick Hasek became an Ottawa Senator.
- You remember Daniel Alfredsson’s thread locks, which made him look like Chad Kroeger from Nickelback.

Daniel and Chad trying to look like each other. Maybe they are the same person...who knows.

- You wanted to kiss Steve Duchesne when he scored to put the Senators in the playoffs for the very first time.
- You’ve wanted to slap Wade Redden.
- You miss Todd White.
- You’ve gone golfing earlier than expected most playoffs.

If you fit into 90% of these points, you are most likely a dedicated Sens fan. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? We will leave that up for debate. NHLEF OUT!

Bob Gainey and Corruption

Bob Gainey trying his Superman impression, which is anything but super.

We all know that the Montreal Canadians are the most storied franchise in NHL history. Heck, they are probably one of the most storied franchises in all of professional sports. However, over the past several years or so, they have become one of the most unclassy, laughable, and pathetic franchises in the NHL, despite remaining to be one of the most valuable teams in the NHL. The management deserves to be called out, so the NHL-EF will do just that. By the end of this article, one should understand how corrupt this franchise truly is, thanks to one man, Bob Gainey.

Ever since winning the Stanley Cup in 1993, the team has been in a downward spiral. However, because no one wants to read a novel about the Canadians about the last 15 years, we will just focus on the last season or two. Bob Gainey, the current General Manager of the Habs, deserves most of the blame for tarnishing this franchise. We will start with his moves for the goaltender position.

Gainey surprised many people when he chose a young goaltender, by the name of Carey Price, 5^th overall in 2005, a draft best known for the welcoming of Sidney Crosby to the NHL. Gainey’s pick at the time looked foolish, considering he had a Heart and Vezinia Trophy winner on his squad, Jose Theodore, and an up and coming French net minder, named Cristobal Huet. However, as time moved on, Theodore began to show his true colours and become an average goalie at best, which lead the way for Huet to tender the Habs goal. Gainey traded Theodore for nothing to Colorado, and it seemed like Huet would be the number 1 tender and Price would earn some valuable NHL experience as the back-up. However, this was way too simple for Gainey, he just had to show that his pick of Price back in 2005 was better than picking Sidney Crosby and that Price is indeed Patrick Roy and Ken Dryden combined. He quickly shipped an unsuspecting Huet to Washington for nothing, and gave Price the number 1 job at the tender age of 20. Price has been suffering ever since because of this rush move. He has performed well sometimes, but more often than not he shows his age and exhibits poor outings, particularly in the playoffs. Not only did Gainey ship two number one (at the time) goalies away for nothing, but also tremendously slowed the development of their “next” franchise goaltender.

Gainey's self-portrait in his office in the Bell Centre.

So that’s the goaltending situation Gainey gave the Canadians. Let’s move onto the blue line. The Canadians do draft well and are able to find some diamonds in the rough at times. This is true with their blue line. The Canadians developed Sheldon Souray, Mark Streit, and Mike Komisarek into top notch defensemen. However, with Gainey’s philosophy that no player should be paid over $2 million, he lost all three to free agency and got nothing in return and replaced them with guys like Ryan O’byrne, Josh Gorges, and Patrice Brisebois. Not the greatest replacements if you ask me. It is true that the three ex-Canadians are being paid too much for what they bring to the table on their new teams, but all three are one hundred times better than any of the replacements that Gainey “found.” Their power play has never been the same since Souray and Streit left, which is somewhat important for victories in today’s NHL.

Moving on to the most pathetic aspect of the present day Canadians, forwards, Gainey truly shows his colours. First of all, Gainey does not believe in having a true superstar. He insists on having a team loaded with 2^nd and 3^rd liners, who he can pay 1-3 million dollars each. It could be argued that he is reversing this trend this offseason with the acquisitions of Scott Gomez, Mike Cammalleri, and Brian Gionta, but they are hardly “superstars,” just good players getting paid way too much. The reason for these pick-ups is because Mr. Gainey pretty much let his entire team go for nothing, which is another genius move by the goof. Bring in a bunch of random players that have never played together, that will improve your team. Even with these new and expensive pick-ups, the Canadians still lack a true number 1 centre, and are still averaging about 5’1 up front, which is not really scary for opposing players, such as Zdano Chara.

Gainey responding to a reporter telling him he has something on his chin. (That is your eye Bob)

Let’s see who he let go for nothing (we will stick to the three players that I want to discuss) Alex Kovalev, Saku Koivu, and Alex Tanguay. Firstly, he gave up on French Canadian, Tanguay after a season where he was injured for a large majority of the games. Tanguay could have been re-signed for a reasonable 2-3 million dollar contract for a few years, and could have become a bargain, because he has the potential of being a 40-50 goal scorer if he is given a chance in the right situation. Moving on to Alex Kovalev, Gainey let him go for nothing, (a move I back up) despite a rally in Montreal for the guy. You would think you would try to please your fans if they are rallying for a player, right? Lastly, Gainey chose not to approach Saku Koivu about a new contract. Koivu is the longest serving captain in Habs history, is involved actively in the city, especially on the cancer scene, and is a solid 2^nd line centre. It is absurd that Gainey would not let Koivu finish his career in a Habs uniform. It is also sad that Habs fans didn’t rally for this guy, I guess he has to beat cancer a second time to get some respect in Montreal. This shows how ridiculously unclassy and unprofessional this man and organization is. It is also foolish to let all three of these players go for nothing, because now the team really doesn't have a candidate for a new captian, an extremely important role on any hockey team. Tanguay, Kovalev, and Koivu are all great candidates for a team captian, but they are gone for good, not a smart move. Can you honestly see Gomez, Markov, or Lapierre leading this joke of a franchise for years to come?

Gainey observing a hot female, who is actually not that hot, in the crowd, rather than focusing on the game at hand.

So that’s Bob Gainey in a nutshell, oh, wait, he also fired Guy Carbonneau out of the blue, when the team was struggling, and put himself behind the bench and lost even more games than Carbonneau would have lost. When asked how surprised he was when he was fired, on a scale of 1-10, Carbonneau replied with 12. This truly shows how unruly Gainey is. He is probably one of the worst General Managers in NHL history, right behind John “Everyone gets No Trade Clauses!!!” Ferguson. NHLEF OUT!

Eric Lindros and His Career As Seen On Twitter

Twitter is the new big thing on the internet nowadays. It lets people post what is on their mind and what they are doing at anytime, these updates are known as Tweets. That’s pretty much it. As useless as Twitter may sound, millions of people around the world are doing it. So we at the NHLEF thought it would be cool to see what a hockey players Twitter updates would have been throughout their career. You've already seen Alexander Daigles' so, here are Eric Lindros' Twitter updates throughout his eventful hockey career.

January 6, 1989- Wow, people are calling me “The Next One” I am so good at hockey.

June 19, 1991- I am the projected 1st overall pick in this years Entry Draft by a land slide!! I am so awesome!

June 20, 1991- Crap, the Nordiques have the 1st overall pick.

June 21, 1991- I will never play for the Nordiques!

June 22, 1991- Crap, I got drafted by the Nordiques.

June 23, 1991- Screw you Nordiques, I am playing in the OHL again until you trade me.

April 29, 1992- 97 goals and 119 assists for a total of 216 points in 95 games played in my career for the Oshawa Generals, I am pretty proud of myself, I am larger than life.

July 4, 1992- Finally got traded, heading to the New York Rangers for Doug Weight, Tony Amonte, Alexei Kovalev, John Vanbiesbrouck, three first round draft picks and $12 million!!

July 5, 1992- Wait, I got traded to the Philadelphia Flyers for Peter Forsberg, Ron Hextall, Chris Simon, Mike Ricci, Kerry Huffman, Steve Duchesne, two first round selections and $15 million cash!

July 6, 1992- I don’t know what team I am on, Quebec, Philly, or New York?!?! The Nordiques do not know how to do anything.

July 14, 1992- I am a Flyer, finally! Have fun in stinky Quebec Peter Forsberg, Ron Hextall, Chris Simon, Mike Ricci, Kerry Huffman, Steve Duchesne!! HAHA

July 20, 1995- Hart Trophy Winner!! I don’t care if the season got cut short, I am still awesome.

September 2, 1995- The Nordiques are moving to Colorado?!?! I would have played there!! Oh well, the team is still brutal. I’ll win I Cup before them.

December 6, 1995- Avalanche acquire Patrick Roy! He is a good goalie. Still won’t help that joke of a team.

May 28, 1996- Eliminated from the Playoffs again. Next year is the year.

June 21, 1996- Crap! Avalanche win the Stanley Cup. That could have been me. I’ll get mine soon.

June 5, 1997- Stanley Cup Finals!! Only four more wins until my Cup!

June 20, 1997- We got swept, there is always next year. Congrats Detroit.

January 5, 1998- I am ranked number 54 on The Hockey News' list of the 100 Greatest Hockey Players of all time!!

February 6, 1998- Bobby Clarke is starting to really grind my gears.

February 23, 1998- Eff you Darius Kasparaitis for giving me a concussion. My head hurts.


April 1, 1999- Ouch my ribs!

April 2, 1999- I had a collapsed lung caused by internal bleeding, Flyers, I really shouldn’t play hockey for awhile. Stop telling me I should. These team doctors are useless.

October 2, 1999- Flyers took my “C” away for bad mouthing the team doctors. I am beginning to dislike this franchise.

November 5, 1999- Ouch my head. Another concussion.

Feburary 7, 2000- Another concussion.

April 27, 2000- I think I need a new helmet…another concussion.


May 20, 2000- I am going to return from my concussion and help beat the New Jersey Devils!!

May 21, 2000- Eff you Scott Stevens!! You gave me another concussion!! I guess I wasn’t ready to return to game action.

May 23, 2000- Eliminated from playoffs, I think my days with Bobby Clarke and Philly are over!!

October 5, 2000- I am sitting out this season until I get traded to Toronto preferably!

June 21, 2001- Crap! Colorado won the Cup, again! I may have made the wrong decision 10 years ago.

August 20, 2001- Traded to New York Rangers!! Not Toronto, but better than Philly. Seeya Bobby Clarke!!


February 23, 2004- Eighth career concussion. Helmets do nothing.


June 25, 2005- I will never win a Cup with the Rangers, I am out of here!

August 5, 2005- I finally get to play for the Leafs!

April 7, 2006- That was a crappy season. I am done with the Leafs.

August 2, 2006- I am going to be playing in Dallas this upcoming season! Comeback and Cup, here I come.


May 1, 2007- Out of the playoffs. Stanley Cups are hard to get. But hey, at least I nailed Kate Hudson!

November 8, 2007- I am done with hockey. I should have stuck with the Nordiques.

NHLEF OUT

Toews or Kane? A New, More Serious Article, by the NHL-EF

Marian Hossa was perhaps the biggest free agent signing this off-season when he inked a 12 year, $62.8 million contract. For the purposes of next season, this is a great signing and makes the young team from Chicago instant Cup contenders, if they weren’t already. Hossa is by far a more superior player than the talented, yet, injury prone, Martin Havlat, who they chose to let walk away. This was even the case when they both played for the Ottawa Senators. Therefore, it is an instant improvement for Chicago.

However, as most people have figured out, after the 2009/2010 campaign, the Blackhawks will have some decisions to make in terms of who stays and who goes. Chicago’s top two young guns, Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane are up for restricted free agency. Both will want long-term contracts that will pay them at least $6 million a season, but probably closer to $7 million. With all of the young talent on Chicago being signed this summer and with all of the other contracts they must stick with for awhile, such as Cristobal Huets and Brian Campbell’s *cough* ridiculous *cough* contracts, they won’t be able to keep them both.

We have all heard who would you rather have, Crosby or Ovechkin, but now the new and realistic debate should be: Would you rather have Toews or Kane to lead your team for the next 10-15 years? Let the NHLEF begin the debate for you.

Winnipeg native, Jonathan Toews was drafted 3^rd overall in 2006 by the Hawks and has had two successful seasons under his belt already. His career stats are admiral with 146 games played, 58 goals, 65 assists, for a total of 123 points. His career +/- is +23, which isn’t too shabby. Toews is a skilled centre who can both set up and score goals. He is currently the captain of the young Blackhawk team and led them to Western Conference Final in 2009 racking up 13 points in 17 playoff games, which isn’t terrible for a players’ first time in the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Buffalo native, Patrick Kane was drafted 1^st overall by the Hawks in 2007. He is a skilled winger who has had immediate success in the NHL. He won the Calder Trophy in 2008 for being the leagues top rookie player. His career stats over two seasons are impressive with 162 games under his belt and notching 46 goals and 96 assists for a total of 142 points. His career +/- is not as impressive at -7. He, like Toews, also performed well in his first experience with Playoff Hockey notching 14 points in 17 games. Kane has been more of a playmaker, than a sniper, so far in his NHL career.

So those are the facts. Now it’s time to determine who Chicago should keep and who they should part ways with. Kane is indeed a great offensive power and can contribute points at key times, in key games. Toews is also a great offensive power who can also play under pressure. Both have yet to reach their full offensive potential thus far in their NHL careers, but they surely will soon. As mentioned, Toews can shoot and pass, so he is a double threat. Kane on the other hand, is more of a playmaker, and therefore benefits from having skilled snipers to play with, and without that, he can become quite ineffective. In terms of offensive attributes, you have to give the edge to Toews.

Defensively speaking, both players need work in their own zone, which is the case with most young, skilled players. For what it is worth Toews has by far the better +/- compared to Kane, which can support the argument that he more defensive minded than Kane. Therefore, you can give Toews the defensive edge as well.

In the new NHL, marketability is key for a franchise (and the league) to be successful. Therefore, examining which of these two young stars is more marketable is important. Toews is a quiet, genuine, Canadian. He is not seen as the top player in the game, but he is very good. In Canada his marketability is sufficed, especially after his heroics in the shootout against the Americans in the World Junior Championships, which every Canada enjoys watching. Other than that, his marketability in the USA is pretty much non-existent, which is not good if that’s where your trying to expand you fan base. Kane on the other hand has marketing in his veins. He is a fun loving kid who fans love to connect with. He is one of the top American born players in the game today. And he is the new cover boy of EA Sports NHL 10, an honor that he can share with Alexander Ovechkin. So if marketability is the way to go, you would be best suited to keep Patrick Kane.

Leadership is probably the most important item to take into account when comparing these two, since who ever will be chosen to stay, will lead the Hawks for the next 10 years or so. Toews and Kane have both been leaders and captains on teams that they have played for in their hockey careers before the NHL, so it is nothing new to them. Toews currently holds the captaincy for the young Hawk team, and the team has performed well under his leadership. Many people, including myself, feel that this insures that Toews is the man of the future and Kane will be looking for a new home after next season. However, as trivial as this argument may be, Kane is American and Toews is Canadian. Canadians are generally seen as captains on NHL teams, it’s just a fact. However, the argument I am going to try and make is that Kane can be a next generation Mike Madano, an American captain, leading an American based team. Kane would probably excel under this opportunity if he was given the “C” in Chicago. But nevertheless, Toews has already proved he is a leader and could most likely become a next generation Steve Yzerman, a Canadian leading an original six team. In leadership, Towes also takes the cake.

So there you have it, Toews should stay and Kane should go. And if this indeed happens, look for the Maple Leafs to try hard to get Kane, although Brian Burke would rather have Toews. But that debate is for another day. I think most people would support this point of view that I have put forward, but I am sure there are plenty of people who want to see Patrick Kane playing with his mouth guard in a Hawks uniform. So let’s hear it NHLEF readers! Would you rather have Jonathan Toews or Patrick Kane? NHLEF OUT

Alex Daigle's Twitter Roll

With apologies to Wikipedia, who have compiled an impressive list of Daigle’s accomplishments, I will attempt to summarize, using entries from Alex’s personal Twitter feed.

February, 1993
Super_Alex: The Sens are losing games on purpose in order to draft me! God I’m so hot right now.

May, 1993
Super_awesomealex: The Nordiques just offered the Sens Peter Forsberg, Owen Nolan and Quebec remaining a part of Canada for the right to draft me! The boys running the country declined! They’re so smart and I’m effing unreal!

July, 1993
Unreal_Alex: Just got home from the draft, went to Ott, obv. Take that Pronger and Kariya, you guys suck, I don’t even try and I’m way better. Go Sens go, thanks for the 5-year $12.25 contract. (thats million, not my hourly salary)

January, 1994
RichAss_Alex: I’m so famous, and I don’t even have to try. They put me on posters of everything here, even though Yashin is way better than me in every bit of the game. Screw hockey, I loooooooooveeee accccccccciiiidddd.*0-9rguj803n










Alex on acid. This is a picture provided by one of his close friends.


July, 1995
Daigle_Masta: Yashin holds out ‘cause he isn’t gettin’ paid as much. What a meatball, I’m the big cheese and I’m on the 4th line. Sucka!











Alex and Alexei, two superstars in the making

August, 1997
Logo_Daig: I’m on the Sens 3rd Jersey! No big deal or nuthin’, picking up the ladiezzz at da barzzz is a joke, kind of like me playing hockey.

January, 1998
Dead_Alex: Hmm, 74 goals in 4.5 seasons? Pretty much the next Wayne G right here, Philly knows it, and Ott just gave up on me. For Vaclav Prospal, what a gongshow, but I’m still getting dumptruck loads of money. Texted Pam last night, shes down for a good time.

April, 1998
Waived_Alex: Flyers, screw them! Oil? Who cares about that freezing dead end city! TBay – no one ever knows what hockey is! The Rangers – I’m the best dude on the team! Eff this noise, I’m the next Woody Allen. Or Bruce Willis! Or Marilyn Monroe! Got sloppy with Pam last night – think I managed to hook that fish.







Pam Anderson without Alex Daigle


June, 1998
Actor_Alex: Only played hockey cause i was sick-as at it - ***k you guys!

July 2002
burnout_D: I have no idea where i was the last 4 years - any1 got an idea?? Looking for: NHL team paying money to smack-addicted self-obsessed no-talent garbagomanic to pwn in pre-season and then fall flat on his face. Msg me.

July 2003
Wild_Daigle: The Pens fell for it last year, and the Wild this year. Yeaaaaah aycheques for nothin'!

April 2004
Sniper_Alex: Just led the Mild in points! 51! Tied career high! I don't suck afterall, even though this team does! Ohgodwheresmyacid.,.,oeingjieugb

March 2006
Waived_Alex2: Waived again. FML. But I'm not done yet!!! Europe doesn't know I'm a waste of space!!



As you can see, Alex Daigle led a very healthy, fantastic, yet chaotic life. He is an example to be followed, revered and possibly even worshipped. Now, the NHL-EF has taken a new turn, one with more serious articles - is this one of them?? Only the readers will tell... NHL-EF OUT!